Standing room only, Deutschland & beyond

This blog will probably have more typos than usual because I've been sitting up for more than six straight days by the time you read this. Hi from Köln airport.

Feel it comin’ in the air (Yeah)
Hear the screams from everywhere (Yeah)
I’m addicted to the thrill (I’m ready)
It’s a dangerous love affair (What’s up? Come on)
Can’t be scared when it goes down
Got a problem, tell me now. -Run This Town

A little over a week ago, I packed up my apartment in Atlanta and moved things into storage. Captain Snuggles, my teddy bear of 37 years- we're ready for our next adventure in Cologne, Germany.

I'm in a transition period- the move to Germany was well in the works before significant changes occurred over the last month. Free agency sucks. I decided to go anyway. Give me some time to figure out what was next, either over here or somewhere in the states, drink some beers watch some football, and put my German to the test—going into this experience. I have the German conversational skills of a seven-year-old. The athlete in me wanted real reps, not workbooks, tutors, or apps. I had planned this trip for the better six months or more. 34 days. Let's go.

My first hours in Germany went like this-Passport stamped-1st one. Train from Frankfurt to Cologne. I met up with my friend, who was my tutor, for the first time in three years on platform 10 in Cologne's central station. The elevator was out, so I had to find service people to take me to the designated service elevators in underground tunnels. My mission was to find one person. I found four, including a lovely older woman I met on the train, and three workers. People apologized profusely, but I am used to Pac-Man-ing my way around the world wherever I am. Minimize frustrations and find solutions. We took the next train to my hotel by the airport. More elevators out.

I found this hotel through my friends at Wheel the World. They specialize in booking curated travel for people specifically with physical disabilities. I love this crew. They made me feel that I was probably ok with my hotel accommodations. In my world, the first thing I worry about is my chair being ok, transportation, and lodging. Despite our challenges, so far, so good.

After getting checked in, my friend and I Lab my room. What I mean is Figuring out the angle I will take to open the doors and transfers. I plugged In my charger with the adapter for Europe that was old caused a spark and shut down power to my room for 30 minutes. I spent the next several hours figuring out what type of converter I would need etc. I ordered one from Amazon on Friday, but it wouldn't be here until Tuesday. ( It rained the first six days I was here. Thankfully I didn't miss out on much. ) Me being sequestered in my room conserving battery and worried about if my solution would work wreaked havoc with my mind much more heavily over the coming days.

Next, I practiced bathroom transfers and bed transfers as well. I did three bathroom transfers and felt great about it. The bed was really low, however. The nightstand was attached to the headboard, so it could not be moved-there went my grab point at the head of the bed. The key to any transfer is safely operating within your range. Think of it like this-a baseball swing with repeatable mechanics. Staying within my range is essential for somebody like me with limited muscle memory. I’ll never park the chair the same way every time- angles, spacing, etc. but as long as it's within that range most of the time, you're going to be ok.

Getting out of the chair is easier because you’re just controlling gravity getting into bed. But even in this case, there were too many variables that I could not control. I could not get out of bed as the gap between my chair, and the bed was too great. We immediately stuffed the extra pillows and blankets underneath the mattress to mitigate this issue-no luck. We went downstairs to discuss possible solutions with the staff, and they agreed to pick me up and put me in bed when needed—[Days before, I was in DC, and the bed was too high at that hotel. The toilet was way too low, even with it an elevated seat. The staff did pick me up from both the bed and the bathroom. Got lucky] In my head, this is the short-term solution due to liability. After all, it’s not in their job description. I was right. It only lasted two nights before it stopped. Not my first rodeo. I spent that night in my chair. I did not mind because I watched college football all night-timezones. Even in the changing circumstances, you got to have your priorities. I immediately contacted my booking agent, Gunita, at WtW a few days later.

By this time, my friend has returned to her life about an hour away. We are in constant communication, but all the things in play are beginning the fray of our friendship. I am alone. I don't mind sharing that my mental state was terrible. I'm used to dealing with a lot and adapting, but sometimes minor things — the height of a bed can hammer home the weight of disability.

I'm sleeping in my chair night after night. My chair is running low on fuel. What if the adapter doesn't work? Forget about seeing the city. How the fuck do I get home?

I wanted to stay, but my body had other ideas. Leaving early, I felt like a quitter. Gunita and I tried everything. Through our conversations with the hotel chain HQ and ourselves. We learned that the height of the bed, 22 inches, was built to the German accessibility standard. There's a large conference in Düsseldorf, so most of the rooms were booked anyway, and there are only a few disability rooms per hotel or apartment building everywhere in the world. So switching hotels was not an option.

We decided to find an international chain. We chose Holiday Inn as they are a part of the intercontinental family as a test. We learned that England and Germany have similar standards as far as the height of the bed. Conversely, the hotel we selected as a test had beds 8 inches higher in San Francisco. You don't know what you don't know. I would've never thought about this, nor would Wheel the World or any other rational person. My working hypothesis is that there may be fewer power chair users in Europe. Anecdotally, I've seen about three times as many manual chair users.

A friend asked me a question."Does this mean your German dream is over?"No, I worked hard to create this opportunity. It's just different now. The objective is alive. I've got to find another way if it is to happen.

As an individual disability, I am constantly told directly and indirectly that I am not equal. It's just another example. Solo travel is a different type of fun and experience all its own. But I am not allowed to do that because I am disabled? the fuck. When rolling into a room, my eyes focus on the bed or toilet, which is too low. Etc. You rob us of our independence and humanity by overlooking these details and not including people with disabilities in these discussions. I am master's educated. I am master's way to speaking two languages. My intellect is accepted, but because of my body and equipment—filing travel after finding employment and healthcare. I'm still held in chains. Don't matter to society. the older I get, become more acutely aware of how the margins on my decisions are smaller than others.

Six-plus straight days is a long time to sit. I'm terrible at math, but eight days is less than 34. I didn't go to a soccer match for my birthday. I had minimal interactions with Die Frauen.🥰 nor did I get to hang with the Hapsburgs or a Kaiser- pay my respects to the dark side of history.

Here is what I did. Uprooted my life 4400 miles. I had one fantastic day, which included Schnitzel and Kölsch 🍻with a friend. Kölner Dom. ⛪️ Got me back to the hotel after the cab driver forgot me using that little German I could stream together. I had to run from a lady with a mental illness. She kept saying your legs are broken, not your mind. Touching my Hair. I found some Polizei🚔 just like home. They were cool. I didn't get eviscerated by the language. I took on the world one wheel rotation at a time. I'll be back.

I'm happy that my experience here will help others. WtW will now inquire about the height of the bed and provide that information to potential guests before they book. They will also ask hotels to include it in their room descriptions. This is my preferred form of advocacy. To anyone who wants to know, yes, this is critically important. However, I do not wish to make my disability my full-time job. I need some separation from the shadow that always follows.

This trip was supposed to be a break. Physically, mentally and emotionally, it has been the furthest thing from that. I will take some time to get settled in my temporary space. Then I'll find a friend to hang with for a few days somewhere else.

Thirteen hours of flights ahead- a new city where the same apprehension about my $35,000 chairs’ safety and my accommodations will follow. Thirteen hours to contemplate how the height of a bed changed everything so rapidly. You can ask all the questions. You never know until you see it.

The world is standing room only. If you're lucky enough, many of you will be forced by the hands of time to take a seat. Suppose you don't want to push for accessibility changes and accountability for people like me. Do it for yourselves. The 15 percent of the world's population living with a disability does not care about the reasons behind your motivation.

I came, I saw. Circumstances did not subjugate me — Vielen dank Deutschland.

I booked my flight through United to go home because I’m right next to the Cologne airport and didn’t want to go to Frankfurt. Lufthansa rejected my chair because the batteries carry too much voltage. So now I have to find a way to get to Frankfurt.

I’m back at the hotel. I’ll be here for two more nights. All the flights to Charlotte tomorrow had four stop. I won’t do that to my chair.

My neighbor is a Panamanian diplomat. She encouraged me to get in contact with my consulate. So I did.

Duhh. That’s my government